All posts tagged: janine smith

Babyloss – you will survive

In the first few days and early weeks after my son died, I wished to feel normal again. I longed, not just for the pain to ease, but just to feel like myself again. It felt like I lived in a bubble, everyone around me was living their normal lives but I was in a very lonely, isolated bubble of vulnerability and pain. I have never felt pain like it – physical pain, mental pain that affected how much I could do, how much I could cope with, how much I could enjoy, how much I could focus on. I felt like I could break at any moment – each day was about forcing myself to get out of bed, to do something rather than just wallow; to do something rather than just desperately want my baby back. There was an aching in my arms for the baby I  couldn’t hold and a physical pain in my heart as it ached for what I had lost. In those early weeks I wasn’t sure how much …

Positions for labour & birth

The Royal College of Midwives (RCM) promotes the use of different positions for labour and birth to enable labouring women to feel comfortable and to help labour to flow. The RCM states that: “Gravity is the greatest aid in giving birth but for historical reasons we can make women give birth on their backs. These resources can be used to help women understand and practice alternative positions during pregnancy, to feel free to be mobile and to use different positions during labour and birth.” The key to using positions and movement in labour is to listen to your body, to allow instinct to take over so you use positions for rest and for your contractions.   Positions for labour & birth: get comfy and let your body do what it needs to do…   You can sit on a ball or a chair to be upright. For extra support you can lean on someone or use the bed, a chair or a sling.   If you are moving around, you may want to lean into …

surviving the death of your child

I have written lots of posts about Jamie, my boy who died when he was three days old. I have written about my pregnancy and his short life but I have never really written about living with babyloss – carrying on, coping strategies, mental health, triggers, just getting on without my third child. It is never something we just get over but living with it is something so many parents have to do after miscarriage, after stillbirth, after neonatal death, after cot death, after an accident or an illness. These posts may be helpful, even comforting, to other bereaved parents and I would like to share your stories of your life after the death of your child. I am now 11 years into life without my third child – it hasn’t always been easy, it isn’t always easy, he is constantly missed and his death changed me and our family, in ways I can’t adequately describe.   Jamie’s story… At my 20 week we discovered that something wasn’t quite right with his stomach – a …