All posts tagged: being a mum

Parent Voices: Enjoy Every Minute?

As my bump grew bigger and the start of maternity leave loomed, I began to hear it from acquaintances, friends and strangers: ‘Enjoy every minute’ It was as innocuous as all the other pregnancy small talk, and I didn’t think much of it as they waved me off towards motherhood with those three little words. I certainly wasn’t ‘enjoying every minute’ of pregnancy, but I was really looking forward to meeting the baby and enjoying every minute of this new adventure. Birth was swift and uncomplicated. Not something I enjoyed every minute of – but a positive experience nonetheless. Euphoria hit before the cord was even cut. This was amazing – I really was enjoying every minute, just like they promised. I was enjoying getting to know this new and mysterious creature; gazing at him; cuddling him; sharing the news. Despite the aches and pains and bleeding, I was even enjoying my post-partum body. I marvelled at what it had just done, and promised never to be critical about its wobbly bits and stretch marks. …

family newcastle and tyneside

Being a mum

This is something I write about every now and then – so much of my work is with new mums and I am also a mum who rides the ever changing challenges of motherhood. I remember the early days and weeks with my first baby – the terror I felt at the pressure to get this right, to keep her alive and how overwhelmed I was by the feeling of being ill-equipped to look after my baby. I loved her but I don’t remember feeling comfortable and confident looking after her for about 3 months – I just felt lost. In the early weeks, it was the most isolating experience of my life – everyone else seemed to have answers, everyone else seemed to have babies who slept, everyone else seemed less afraid than me. At times, I felt useless and incapable. And because I was finding it so hard, I felt guilty, like I wasn’t a good enough mum because surely no-one else was struggling? But slowly my confidence did build and I started …

what did you do for you today?

Discussion: What did you do for you today?

I love this question because, as a busy mum, it always makes me stop in my tracks and think about just what have I done for me? It doesn’t have to be big – the small things matter just as much – but this question can focus your mind on your day and what part of it was for you. Doing something for you can be about doing something that makes you feel happy, proud, accomplished, calm or it can provide a sense of relief, a chance to just stop for a while. It can make you feel like you have some time out, some time to switch off, some time to stop juggling and thinking about what else needs doing. I really do think this is important for all of us when I am busy and struggle to do anything for me, I start to crave an opportunity to just be and to stop doing. Doing something for you could be reading, writing, fitness, walking, having a bath, cooking, seeing friends, going for a …

parent blogger newcastle and tyneside

Enjoy Every Second…

I will never forget the first time I heard someone say “enjoy every second with her” about my time with my daughter, who was a few weeks old. My first thought was ‘you’ve got to be fucking kidding me, enjoy her, I’m too knackered to enjoy her’ and then I felt the guilt that I wasn’t enjoying my gorgeous, tiny, precious baby. I loved her, I felt incredibly protective of her and I did everything within my power to keep her healthy, safe, alive – I kept breastfeeding when I didn’t have a clue and when I cried with every latch (thankfully the bad latch was sorted and feeding was a dream after that); I got up every hour in the night; I tried to listen to my instincts and I cuddled her and I gazed at her when she slept, although that was more relief that she wasn’t crying than of enjoyment. My first baby – who didn’t do sleep – nearly broke me. Of course I did enjoy her – when she started …

family newcastle and tyneside

Being a mum

Being a mum means I am protector, teacher, nurse, carer, counsellor, coach, taxi driver and I worry more about my children than anything else in my life – the moment they were born, I was also handed a bag of guilt and a bag of worry. As a parent, I am a wonderful mixture of laid-back and panic-worrier, there’s not much in-between apart from the occasional nag. As my children have grown older I have had to adapt to their freedom – whether it is being on top of the climbing frame, going out on their own with friends, sleepovers and going to parties – and I have never held them back unless I have felt it was inappropriate or unsafe. Since having teenagers, I have had sleepless nights of anxiety and worry, sometimes accompanied by panic when my imagination has immediately gone to the dead-in-a-ditch scenario. Being a mum has meant a heart full of love, which can sometimes be hurt with worry and loss and fear. I have worried that I am doing the right …