All posts tagged: being a mum

Loneliness of Motherhood

Having young children is not all about coffee shops and idle chatter. It is not a holiday. It can be one of the toughest times in a woman’s life. The loneliness can be torture. With your first child, the learning curve is steep – learning to keep a baby settled, soothed and alive while recovering from pregnancy, birth and unrealistic expectations of how motherhood would be. We are often sleep deprived, in need of supportive mum friends and it can feel like we are on our own with the day-to-day responsibilities of looking after our baby. In our society mothers are often judged, with unreal expectations stacked against them and their children. It can be a hard slog. When you become a mother it doesn’t matter what job you do, how old you are or how much you spent in Mothercare preparing for your baby’s arrival – you have a baby to look after and it can knock your confidence when they cry, need a poo, won’t sleep and won’t settle anywhere but in your …

parent blogger newcastle and tyneside

Enjoy Every Second…

I will never forget the first time I heard someone say “enjoy every second with her” about my time with my daughter, who was a few weeks old. My first thought was ‘you’ve got to be fucking kidding me, enjoy her, I’m too knackered to enjoy her’ and then I felt the guilt that I wasn’t enjoying my gorgeous, tiny, precious baby. I loved her, I felt incredibly protective of her and I did everything within my power to keep her healthy, safe, alive – I kept breastfeeding when I didn’t have a clue and when I cried with every latch (thankfully the bad latch was sorted and feeding was a dream after that); I got up every hour in the night; I tried to listen to my instincts and I cuddled her and I gazed at her when she slept, although that was more relief that she wasn’t crying than of enjoyment. My first baby – who didn’t do sleep – nearly broke me. Of course I did enjoy her – when she started …

family newcastle and tyneside

Being a mum

Being a mum means I am protector, teacher, nurse, carer, counsellor, coach, taxi driver and I worry more about my children than anything else in my life – the moment they were born, I was also handed a bag of guilt and a bag of worry. As a parent, I am a wonderful mixture of laid-back and panic-worrier, there’s not much in-between apart from the occasional nag. As my children have grown older I have had to adapt to their freedom – whether it is being on top of the climbing frame, going out on their own with friends, sleepovers and going to parties – and I have never held them back unless I have felt it was inappropriate or unsafe. Since having teenagers, I have had sleepless nights of anxiety and worry, sometimes accompanied by panic when my imagination has immediately gone to the dead-in-a-ditch scenario. Being a mum has meant a heart full of love, which can sometimes be hurt with worry and loss and fear. I have worried that I am doing the right …