All posts filed under: Postnatal Essentials

Loneliness of Motherhood

Having young children is not all about coffee shops and idle chatter. It is not a holiday. It can be one of the toughest times in a woman’s life. The loneliness can be torture. With your first child, the learning curve is steep – learning to keep a baby settled, soothed and alive while recovering from pregnancy, birth and unrealistic expectations of how motherhood would be. We are often sleep deprived, in need of supportive mum friends and it can feel like we are on our own with the day-to-day responsibilities of looking after our baby. In our society mothers are often judged, with unreal expectations stacked against them and their children. It can be a hard slog. When you become a mother it doesn’t matter what job you do, how old you are or how much you spent in Mothercare preparing for your baby’s arrival – you have a baby to look after and it can knock your confidence when they cry, need a poo, won’t sleep and won’t settle anywhere but in your …

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Can I Cuddle My Baby?

The question Can I Cuddle My Baby? comes up a lot especially from new mums with a baby who just wants to cling. My aim with this post is to provide good information about baby development, our parenting instincts, what’s normal and why cuddling our babies and children is not just lovely it’s crucial. In our society babies can be seen as creatures to control and to train, and parents are encouraged to make their babies independent and self soothing. Any parent who cuddles and carries and soothes their babies can be seen as giving in, as failing, as making a rod for their own back. So, if you are asking Can I Cuddle My Baby? Here’s what the research tell us… When your baby is born  he has approximately 200 billion brain cells but there are very few connections in his higher brain – these connections are mainly responsible for  emotional and social intelligence. 90% of brain growth takes place in the first five years of life Early stress (prolonged crying) can create negative changes in  baby’s …

After birth – looking after you…

I saw this on social media yesterday and I love it, shared it and nicked it – I have received a few messages about it and there was an interesting thread on the original post which was a combination of agreement and a bit of criticism. I speak to a lot of new mums and the overwhelming conversation is: “I wish I had rested more at the beginning”. Mumming is relentless because we are always on duty so to rest in the beginning is vital – when we are recovering from birth, resting, feeding and bonding with our baby. Of course this isn’t prescriptive and it won’t be right for everyone but something that provokes conversation and encourages women to rest and for partners and families to support that rest can only be a good thing. Rest afterwards can be about bedding in for a few days – being looked after and cared for so you can rest and sleep and cuddle your baby. And for the next few days it can be about pottering …

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New Baby Survival Guide

Congratulations, your baby is here and you are a parent! You are probably learning fast that this beautiful new creature doesn’t come with any instructions and you may be feeling more than a little lost. There are no easy solutions but it can be helpful to: Trust your instincts – cuddle, feed and carry your new baby to soothe and comfort. You will not be spoiling him, you will not be making a rod for your own back – you will be providing love, comfort and security. Give yourself time to get to know your baby and time to adjust to your new life. You both need time to get to know each other, so you can get used to how your baby is communicating with you through sounds, cries, movement and behaviour. Accept or ask for help – you do not need to be superwoman and feel that you need to do it all. If you need help or if you feel that you need a break for an hour or so – ask! You …

Life with your new baby

 Congratulations, your baby is here and you are a parent! You are probably learning fast that this beautiful new creature doesn’t come with any instructions and you may be feeling more than a little lost. There are no easy solutions but it can be helpful to: Trust your instincts – cuddle, feed and carry your new baby to soothe and comfort. You will not be spoiling him, you will not be making a rod for your own back – you will be providing love, comfort and security. Give yourself time to get to know your baby and time to adjust to your new life. You both need time to get to know each other, so you can get used to how your baby is communicating with you through sounds, cries, movement and behaviour. Accept or ask for help – you do not need to be superwoman and feel that you need to do it all. If you need help or if you feel that you need a break for an hour or so – ask! You …